


Chapter 13

by throneofrainbows



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 15:45:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throneofrainbows/pseuds/throneofrainbows
Summary: This is a soft short-story, set directly after the events of S. E. Hinton's The outsiders, of Ponyboy reflecting on and coping with the sudden losses in his life and acknowledging the changes.





	Chapter 13

I still watch sunsets. They’ve stayed exactly the same despite how everything’s changed, and yet, they never fail to captivate me. They are still gold.

 

I’m on my way home, well, at least I was. Now I’m sitting atop a hill outside of town, sketching in my block and watching the sunset. I was out taking a walk, as I’ve come to do quite often since we lost Johnnycake and Dallas, and the sun started to set so I sat down to watch. This isn’t the first time I’m perched under the oak up on the hill; I come here a lot, to read, do homework or just think. Out here it’s so calm and quiet, the only sound, the chippering of birds and the rustle of leaves. Out here I can actually hear my thoughts. Sure, you can find a calm place in the city as well, but this is different, this is genuine. It’s a place where you feel detached from everything but completely present at the same time. Does that make sense? No, probably not but I’ve got no other words to describe it. Johnny would have loved it! I would read “Gone with the wind” out loud for the both of us and we would have lied down under the tree and looked up at the sky. And Dally, well, I wished someone would have shown Dally that there are beautiful things in the world, things like sunsets or hillsides with oaks on them. I wish someone had told him it was okay to love and that he’d let himself enjoy the lovely parts of life. In the end it was love that was his undoing, but also his salvation. I don’t believe anyone could go on that long without loving anyone or anything, but it was love that broke him. He kept shutting out all emotions, hardening himself so he wouldn’t get hurt. It was a coping mechanism, it was how he survived, if you don’t feel, if you’re tuff, you don’t get hurt and you can keep going. Man, Dally had been through hell but he’d refused to let it break him. Instead he’d let it shape him to who he had become, an unyielding, tuff, criminal. Sure he’d been mean and criminal but he had been gallant and brave. Even though he had that relentless anger and hatred burning inside of him he could love. So when Johnny was taken away from him, the only thing he really loved in the entire world, he couldn’t take it, it broke him. It was different for me, although I also loved Johnny, I have other people that I love, Sodapop, Darry and even Two-bit, but Johnny was all Dally had. He did have us, the gang, but it wasn’t the same, he didn’t love us the same way. I didn’t recognize this side of Dally before he was gone, and I wished we, (Sodapop, Darry, Two-bit, Steve, and me), would’ve noticed and saved him. The only one who really understood Dallas was Johnny and now they’re both gone. Cherry Valance never strays far from my thoughts when I think of Dally and Johnny. “I could fall in love with Dallas Winston” she’d said, “Make sure I never see him again or I will”. At the time I’d wondered what she could possibly see in him to make her mean that, he was a criminal greaser and she was a rich soc girl, but now I’m thinking maybe she saw through all those blocks and barricades to the good parts of him, saw the things I failed to notice. We weren't the only ones that lost people close to us though; Cherry lost her boyfriend Bob. Did she love him? Or was she still together with him out of the comfort of habit. Bob’s dark sides were the only one’s I’d witnessed but I know that he had an air about him that marked him as special and that he could be charming and kind when he wanted to. I know that she hated what qualities the booze brought forth but did she love his bright sides? Still, can you really pick and choose what parts of a person to love like that? Of course there will always be traits you like more or less in someone but to be afraid of one half and relish the other, is that really love? Shoot, I don’t know? Well I really should get going or Darry’s going to be sick with worry. Darry’s trying to be more relaxed and I’m trying to be more cooperative but he still doesn’t like me to be out late on school nights so I gather my things and make my way home.

 

When I wake up the next morning Darry’s already up and cooking breakfast as usual. Whoever wakes up first makes breakfast and the other two are stuck with the dishes. I sit down at the table start tackling my eggs. Soda walks into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and looking like he’s asleep.

”Morning kiddo, morning Darry,” he says sleepily, sitting down next to me.

”Good morning Soda,” I manage to get out in between stuffing my mouth with eggs.

” Gosh Pony, slow down! You’d think you haven’t seen any food in a week!” Laughs Soda

”I’d completely forgotten that my class starts early today to prepare for a play and if I don’t want to be late I got to hurry! You know, I have a really important role I play a shocked bystander. The others would be totally devastated if I didn’t show up!” I answer.

”Hey, don’t even think about cutting class!” rumbles Darry while he takes a seat in front of me. Throwing my hands up in the air in mock defence I say:

”I’m not! Don’t you see I’m stressing my ass of?” I stand up and start washing my plate.

”Soda could you please take care of the rest of the dishes? I promise I’ll do them all tomorrow! Please!” I ask hurriedly.

”No worries kid! Now bustle of to school.” I grab my bag and head out the door.

”Thanks Soda, you’re the best!”

 

After absolutely rocking the role of a shocked bystander I make my way through the hallways towards my locker. I see Two-bit and Marcia talking passionately to each other by the library. They’ve come to spend a lot of time together, always bickering and insulting each other, but you can see how much they enjoy it by the way their eyes shine and how their whole faces lights up when they smile to each other. Marcia and Randy recently broke up on good terms and me, Darry and Sodapop are just waiting for Two-bit and Marcia to become a couple. Two months ago I would have laughed at the idea of Two-bit and a soc girl falling for each other but now you can see more and more socs and greasers getting to know one another. It’s lovely watch! The vast abyss between socs and greasers is starting to shrink to a shallow rift and people are beginning to understand that they're not so different from each other.

“Hey! Ponyboy!” I turn around to se Cherry moving swiftly towards me through the throng of people. “Wait up!”

“Hi Cherry, how’re you doing?” I’m kind of surprised she’s come up to me; we haven’t really talked in a while and never in school.

“Good, thanks! Well, uhm, I was wondering, there’s this drive-in movie tonight and I was wondering if you, Two-bit, Soda and Darry would like to join me and Marcia?” She asks nervously.

“Yeah sure, that’d be awesome!” I answer. “Well, I got to go now or else I’m going to be late for English class. See you tonight!” Yes, things really are changing for the better and we're the start of it!

 

 


End file.
